Same woman. 2 different photos. 

When I came home from my honeymoon I shared so many photos from our trip to Mexico. I received so many compliments. “How beautiful!” “Where is your bathing suit from?!” “You look great!” etc. 

Fast forward to this week, while I am on a FB LIVE, pregnant, wearing a long sleeve maxi dress (which is a wrap dress and yes shows cleavage) and I am attacked. I am told I need to be more “modest”. I am told that there are “other ways to show I am beautiful”. I am told I need to “cover up please”. Oh and don’t worry these people aren’t trying to be mean they are just..”stating fact”. While I am working on my mental health (because let’s face it this virus has really impacted all of us in that way) and finally getting some time to feel beautiful again I am told by some I’m not worth that or allowed to feel beautiful because…wait for it…I have large breasts! 😱

Please help me understand how one photo or one way of dressing is less beautiful than the other? Please help me understand why when I am in a more revealing bathing suit that it’s considered acceptable and beautiful and okay…but when I am in the comfort of my own home, growing a human being, I am considered immodest? If I had no breasts would I still be viewed the same?

I’m not sure when society decided that it was ever okay to shame a woman for her body or to push their own views on what is modest and what isn’t? I’m not sure when my naturally given curves were considered too much or too sexual or too whatever. Oh wait…I remember…it started in middle school actually. We preach and preach and preach about embracing who we are and loving the way God made us. Yet the sight of cleavage pushes some so over the edge they choose to harass someone over it? 

I look at both of these photos with tears in my eyes. I am about to bring a child into a world where (if it’s a girl) she will be shamed for the way god molded her. She will be harassed for trying to be comfortable in her own skin. She will be told by many that she is too much and that because of other’s insecurities or lack of control she needs to cover herself completely and be ashamed of her shape. And she will believe this to be true…Unless I speak up. 

I am here to say I am not, will not, EVER be ashamed of my curves. I embrace everyone’s right to wear as little or as much as they please. I value the importance of human beings finding their own beauty and I refuse to push my own comfort zone or beliefs on modesty onto anyone else. It is no ones place to tell someone they don’t have a right to feel beautiful because of the way they dress. While I understand there are circumstances you wouldn’t show up to work or church or school in a bikini and of course I respect that. But when you are in the comfort of your own home, or out and about with friends, or enjoying a day on the beach, or hell in your own backyard soaking up some sun…it should not matter. If I want to socialize online wearing something I am comfortable in it should not matter to anyone. 

Imagine how amazing it would be if people took how comfortable they were to shame someone else and use that focus on themselves and loving their own body? Then maybe they wouldn’t feel the urge to or have the time to try and make someone else feel bad about themselves. 

My confidence does not lie within the praises nor the harassing words of others. My confidence and self worth lies within me and my heart. And I hope yours does too. ❤️