It’s weird trying to make friends in your twenties, isn’t it?
When I started dating my now husband I realized how alone I really was when it came to female friendships. I had a few close friends however hardly any left from grade school/high school years. You see, he has had the same exact group of friends from the time he was 5 until now. Through ups and downs they have remained close and prioritized one another. I thought it was really incredible however it made me feel like a failure when it came to my own friendships.
So I started to think….how on earth do you even go about making friends without seeming desperate? When you’re in grade school you really don’t have a choice. You get roomed with X amount of kids for an entire year. You’re basically forced to pick your crew from a handful of people and you learn to make the best of it. This goes on through high school and there’s never really any thought as to how the friendship even started. It’s just there and you do with it what you want.
However as time goes on and your season of life changes how on earth do you manage the friendships that you have let alone make new ones?
This is honestly how “The Maven Life” was born. It wasn’t because I wanted to make videos, or showcase beauty, or create an online presence. If I am being brutally honest with you all, it was a way for me to MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS!! I so desperately wanted to learn how to grow and cultivate a true community vibe. I recognized that this wouldn’t just come to me..I had to make it happen. And so I started my journey online towards “attracting my tribe” for lack of better words.
I have learned in my twenties that you can have many circles of friends and that they all serve a unique purpose in your life. You have your tight knit family like friends. These are the ones who know the depths of who you are, who share your pain, who share your joy, and are the people you call at 3am. Then you have your more surface level friends. These are the ones that you double date with, occasionally go out for drinks with, and have a good time without necessarily sharing your entire life story. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, you find a friend who is both. Then you have your seasonal friends. These are friends who you connect with during a certain season of your life whether its college, marriage, children etc. This commonality brings you together for the season, however, maybe not for life. Which is totally fine!
But how on earth do you even find these people? Do you strike up a conversation in the grocery store? Do you hand out you business card and ask to hang out? Its weird right? And for someone who has social anxiety like me its almost enough to make you want to sit in your home and simply not interact with the world out of fear of rejection.
Insert social media here.
What a beautiful world we live in where we have the opportunity to connect with MILLIONS of people from the comfort of our own home. And while yes, there are aspects of social media that are not so bright and cheery, there is also a side that brings so many people together and I think that is wonderful.
When I decided to start sharing my story online consistently is when I started noticing a change not only with the community of people I surrounded myself with, but also an internal change in me. I started opening up more. I started sharing parts of my heart that I used to be scared to share. I started using my voice to reach out and help other people, strangers online, feel better and become inspired within their own season of life. It honestly has helped me to create such an incredible community within my own corner of the social media world.
So I encourage you today to step out of your comfort zone and start a conversation. Whether its in a blog, a FB LIVE, a status update, a private message, whatever! Start a conversation about something you love. Start sharing your heart. Do not allow the fear of rejection or mean/simple minded people to discourage you from sharing your light with the world. The opportunity you have to build connections through social media to help grow your community in the season you are in is virtually limitless! All you have to do is just start exactly where you are.
Married friends, working friends, SAHM friends, college friends…we all have a purpose in each others lives. There is no reason any of us need to feel alone or isolated in our season. You have to be a friend to find a friend. And when you can build a strong community of positive women around you, you will flourish from all of that love and support!
So tell me, what are some ways YOU grow your own community of friendships?
Ps. If you’re looking for a community to join that is positive feel free to check out my social media pages!! I would love to connect with you.
The Maven Life